The way I feel about my doctor and all the crap that has been happening to me.
I have been unhappy with my doctor but all the things that have happened to me I feel that I would have made the same decision. I mean I saw in 3 different ultrasounds a bubble growing over my ovary -- You can't tell if it's a cyst or not until you actually go in there and look. Lorenzo and I did alot of thinking it over before I had the operation and we wanted to make sure that we had no regrets. I don't regret it because after looking up bicournate uterus' on the internet they only way that they can tell you have one is MRI (which I can't have cause I'm pregnant - and there is no reason for me to have one because this uterus thing was never something that had crossed anyone's mind) or c-section and the doctor notice's it - So I got to find out that I had one the hard way but at least I know now and I have the peace of mind that my baby is safe because I was getting ALOT of pain (and still am) from my right side right over my ovary and I could have thought that it was a cyst about to rupture and I would be having a miserable time!!
As far as my incision coming open -- That was bound to happen. She cut my stomach open and it's already bigger then what it normally is so when she tried to put it back together with staples it was barely hanging on by a thread when they took them out -- So the wound came open. There is nothing that she could have done differently to prevent that from happening.
I have gone to far with her to turn back now. Lorenzo and I have talked about it because he was VERY mad about everything for a while but once we talked about it -- it all made sense. I would have went for a second opinion if I didn't see the cyst growing for myself...but I'm a see-it-to-believe it kinda person and I was seeing it.
I think that because nothing was found I just wanna blame someone for the pain that I have been through for the past 2 weeks -- but I can't blame her because it was our decision to go through with the surgery and I'm really happy that it wasn't a cancerous cyst or something terrible where they were going to have to remove my ovary. It's not her fault. It was a medical opinion that she gave us and we acted upon it. All doctor's are in a 'practice' none of them really know what they are doing. I went to Dr. Shelton who is on the second floor of the same place and she did a horrible job on a biopsy that she gave me about 4 years ago -- So I changed to Pathikonda -- I just can't keep changing because I'm not going to get anywhere.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
So scared about surgery.
I'm just so scared about the surgery. I went and had a pre-op visit and they just did alot of talking to me about stuff and naturally it's of all the bad things that can happen.
I would normally write that stuff off as nothing but the fact that I have a cyst in the first place is still amazing me and I just feel like everything that can go wrong - goes wrong for me!
It became VERY surreal that the baby may not take to this surgery at all & I have spent the last 5 hours crying. The doctor made the comment "The uterus doesn't like to be touched so we are going to put you in labor & delivery after the surgery to monitor the contractions." The baby isn't viable yet - So if anything happens that's it.
I just love this baby so much already and I can't detach myself from him in case something were to go wrong...the unthinkable.
I'm just so scared. I wasn't scared until today. I thought I could totally deal with this but I can't.
The doctor waited until today to tell me that she is probably going to remove my ovary. Yes I'll still be able to have kids later but she's pretty sure that the ovary and tube are going bye-bye. That was the start of all the bad news.
I also know that my doctor is very pessimistic and she likes to think the worst of every situation and get you prepared for anything that could go wrong but this is just terrible news. I'm having a hard time accepting the fact that the baby's earth is going to be rattled and there is nothing that I can do about it.
Everyone please keep the baby in your thoughts tomorrow morning. I don't care about me I just want the baby to be ok.
I would normally write that stuff off as nothing but the fact that I have a cyst in the first place is still amazing me and I just feel like everything that can go wrong - goes wrong for me!
It became VERY surreal that the baby may not take to this surgery at all & I have spent the last 5 hours crying. The doctor made the comment "The uterus doesn't like to be touched so we are going to put you in labor & delivery after the surgery to monitor the contractions." The baby isn't viable yet - So if anything happens that's it.
I just love this baby so much already and I can't detach myself from him in case something were to go wrong...the unthinkable.
I'm just so scared. I wasn't scared until today. I thought I could totally deal with this but I can't.
The doctor waited until today to tell me that she is probably going to remove my ovary. Yes I'll still be able to have kids later but she's pretty sure that the ovary and tube are going bye-bye. That was the start of all the bad news.
I also know that my doctor is very pessimistic and she likes to think the worst of every situation and get you prepared for anything that could go wrong but this is just terrible news. I'm having a hard time accepting the fact that the baby's earth is going to be rattled and there is nothing that I can do about it.
Everyone please keep the baby in your thoughts tomorrow morning. I don't care about me I just want the baby to be ok.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
17 Week Appointment
The appointment went so well. The u/s tech lady was going through her regular procedure and right when she went to measure my cyst I saw the numbers and I knew that it got bigger. I was NOT excited about that - but she kept browsing.
She asked me if she could see the sex if I wanted to know and I told her yes. Well I saw it - It was fading in and out b/c the baby was moving around and she didn't want to say anything for sure but I said "It's a boy isn't it" and she said "well it looks like it but I wouldn't go decorating a room off of it because we didn't get a really good shot" - So she went around taking pictures of the rest of the baby and then came back to it and got a great open leg shot (which I didn't get a copy of that picture - but that's ok cause I will get one next time) and it's DEF a boy!!!
I just knew it!!! I was starting to think it was a girl there for a while but it's kinda like taking a test - You have a good guess and then out of nowhere you pick a different answer...and you end up being mad at yourself b/c the first answer you picked was right. I was starting to think it was a girl - but I knew better then to switch my decision and sure enough!!!
Then I went in to see the doctor - She gave me the bad news. She said that the cyst had gotten bigger (it's 6 inches in diameter right now!!) and she gave us some options - She didn't push anything on us. She told us that if it were to burst then I would hemorrhage because cyst's have lots of veins that run through them. I asked her if the surgery would be laproscopic and she said probably not - If she were to do it today she said that she would straight up cut into me because it's too big and she doesn't want to make it burst while she is in there with the scope. There are the advantages and disadvantages of both. She told us that she will make her decision on how she wants to do it on the day of the surgery. Laproscopic surgery would be outpatient which would be nice but after I got to thinking it might not be a good thing. I want to stay in the hospital and have them monitor the baby so in-case anything goes wrong I'm already there! So more then likely she is going to make a big incision and is going to take it out and I will be in the hospital for 3 days and then I will have a recovery period of 6 weeks. For the first 2 weeks I'm not supposed to do anything at all.
I'm not nervous about it or anything. I know that it's the right decision and I have TOTAL confidence in my doctor!! This won't be the first time that she has done it!!
Lorenzo was going to take leave starting tomorrow just to waste some days - but turns out he is going to need them, lol, so he went to work today to change his chit and take off for a whole week afterwards - and my mom is going to come down and help for the next week. So all will be well!!
She asked me if she could see the sex if I wanted to know and I told her yes. Well I saw it - It was fading in and out b/c the baby was moving around and she didn't want to say anything for sure but I said "It's a boy isn't it" and she said "well it looks like it but I wouldn't go decorating a room off of it because we didn't get a really good shot" - So she went around taking pictures of the rest of the baby and then came back to it and got a great open leg shot (which I didn't get a copy of that picture - but that's ok cause I will get one next time) and it's DEF a boy!!!
I just knew it!!! I was starting to think it was a girl there for a while but it's kinda like taking a test - You have a good guess and then out of nowhere you pick a different answer...and you end up being mad at yourself b/c the first answer you picked was right. I was starting to think it was a girl - but I knew better then to switch my decision and sure enough!!!
Then I went in to see the doctor - She gave me the bad news. She said that the cyst had gotten bigger (it's 6 inches in diameter right now!!) and she gave us some options - She didn't push anything on us. She told us that if it were to burst then I would hemorrhage because cyst's have lots of veins that run through them. I asked her if the surgery would be laproscopic and she said probably not - If she were to do it today she said that she would straight up cut into me because it's too big and she doesn't want to make it burst while she is in there with the scope. There are the advantages and disadvantages of both. She told us that she will make her decision on how she wants to do it on the day of the surgery. Laproscopic surgery would be outpatient which would be nice but after I got to thinking it might not be a good thing. I want to stay in the hospital and have them monitor the baby so in-case anything goes wrong I'm already there! So more then likely she is going to make a big incision and is going to take it out and I will be in the hospital for 3 days and then I will have a recovery period of 6 weeks. For the first 2 weeks I'm not supposed to do anything at all.
I'm not nervous about it or anything. I know that it's the right decision and I have TOTAL confidence in my doctor!! This won't be the first time that she has done it!!
Lorenzo was going to take leave starting tomorrow just to waste some days - but turns out he is going to need them, lol, so he went to work today to change his chit and take off for a whole week afterwards - and my mom is going to come down and help for the next week. So all will be well!!
Thursday, June 4, 2009
14 Week Appointment
Yesterday was my 14 week ultrasound. I had one done at 8 weeks and they were concerned because it looked like I had a cyst on my right ovary so this appt was just to follow up.
At today's ultrasound it confirmed that the cyst has quadrupled in size in the past 6 weeks. That's NOT good news! Doc said that she will do another u/s at 17 weeks and if it's bigger then she is going to have to operate.
I'm so scared that she is going to have to because of how fast it has already grown...what is going to make it slow down at this point.
Surgery is just an all around bad thing while pregnant. She said the drugs used to put me under could be harmful, the meds for afterwards & that it could also put me into pre-term labor. She had nothing good to say about it at all.
She also told me that there is nothing that I could do differently to make it slow down or even shrink. From the looks of it she said it looks malignant but she wouldn't be able to tell until it got confirmed.
The only shred of hope that I'm hanging onto is the fact that they can't define the outline of my ovary in the u/s. The did a regular ultrasound and a vaginal and got the same poor picture that isn't able to see the outline of it. However I do know that it's growing because last time the measurements were 2X2cm and now they are showing 10X8cm (around 4 inches). So no matter if they can see an outline or not it's def getting bigger.
It's just a total bummer no matter what. I'm just scared for the health of the baby...I don't care if they have to cut me open 100 times!!
Other then that we got some cute little pictures of our baby and the heart rate was 158.
I also lost 5 pounds so I am at pre-pregnancy weight which I am very proud of! I def feel bigger and my pre-preggo pants don't fit but I'm not gaining weight! I have plenty of weight to support this baby, lol.
Anyways - Onto the happy part! Pictures of our beautiful baby!!!
This one is my favorite!
You can see the baby's spine in this one.
This picture reminds me terribly of the Transformers logo.
See...
Not real sure what's going on in this one, lol.
So I have another appt on June 17th which they will do some blood work on. Then my next ultrasound the day after my birthday on June 24th! Even though it could be bad news I'm really excited to see if it's a boy or girl and they should be able to tell at that point cause I'll be 17 weeks!
At today's ultrasound it confirmed that the cyst has quadrupled in size in the past 6 weeks. That's NOT good news! Doc said that she will do another u/s at 17 weeks and if it's bigger then she is going to have to operate.
I'm so scared that she is going to have to because of how fast it has already grown...what is going to make it slow down at this point.
Surgery is just an all around bad thing while pregnant. She said the drugs used to put me under could be harmful, the meds for afterwards & that it could also put me into pre-term labor. She had nothing good to say about it at all.
She also told me that there is nothing that I could do differently to make it slow down or even shrink. From the looks of it she said it looks malignant but she wouldn't be able to tell until it got confirmed.
The only shred of hope that I'm hanging onto is the fact that they can't define the outline of my ovary in the u/s. The did a regular ultrasound and a vaginal and got the same poor picture that isn't able to see the outline of it. However I do know that it's growing because last time the measurements were 2X2cm and now they are showing 10X8cm (around 4 inches). So no matter if they can see an outline or not it's def getting bigger.
It's just a total bummer no matter what. I'm just scared for the health of the baby...I don't care if they have to cut me open 100 times!!
Other then that we got some cute little pictures of our baby and the heart rate was 158.
I also lost 5 pounds so I am at pre-pregnancy weight which I am very proud of! I def feel bigger and my pre-preggo pants don't fit but I'm not gaining weight! I have plenty of weight to support this baby, lol.
Anyways - Onto the happy part! Pictures of our beautiful baby!!!
This one is my favorite!
You can see the baby's spine in this one.
This picture reminds me terribly of the Transformers logo.
See...
Not real sure what's going on in this one, lol.
So I have another appt on June 17th which they will do some blood work on. Then my next ultrasound the day after my birthday on June 24th! Even though it could be bad news I'm really excited to see if it's a boy or girl and they should be able to tell at that point cause I'll be 17 weeks!
Monday, June 1, 2009
Working on getting to Week 14
Nothing new has really been happening...just a few updates.
My pants are getting snug and almost no longer fit!! I caved and bought a pair of preggo pants and I love em! They give me room to breath, lol.
I have been having the problem with puking for the past 2 weeks. I was under the assumption that it goes away after the 12 week mark...and well it doesn't, that's when it actually kicked into full gear. This morning I gagged while brushing my teeth and that pretty much set the tone for the day. I was sitting in the bathroom for 15 minutes after I woke up so that I didn't puke all over the house. I do love having the sickness (as weird as that sounds) because then it lets me know that everything is ok and is working just the way it's supposed to. It keeps me calm between my appointments at the doctor's office.
My next appointment is on Wednesday. We have another ultrasound and we will get to see the baby. I know that they won't be able to tell us the sex but I sure do hope that they get a good picture of the private parts so that we can at least take a good guess. I'll only be 14 weeks so I don't expect them to be able to tell us for sure...or even see for sure what our baby is.
My pants are getting snug and almost no longer fit!! I caved and bought a pair of preggo pants and I love em! They give me room to breath, lol.
I have been having the problem with puking for the past 2 weeks. I was under the assumption that it goes away after the 12 week mark...and well it doesn't, that's when it actually kicked into full gear. This morning I gagged while brushing my teeth and that pretty much set the tone for the day. I was sitting in the bathroom for 15 minutes after I woke up so that I didn't puke all over the house. I do love having the sickness (as weird as that sounds) because then it lets me know that everything is ok and is working just the way it's supposed to. It keeps me calm between my appointments at the doctor's office.
My next appointment is on Wednesday. We have another ultrasound and we will get to see the baby. I know that they won't be able to tell us the sex but I sure do hope that they get a good picture of the private parts so that we can at least take a good guess. I'll only be 14 weeks so I don't expect them to be able to tell us for sure...or even see for sure what our baby is.
Friday, May 15, 2009
11 Weeks 2 Days
I'm almost in the "safe zone" and SUPER excited about it. I just can't believe how fast time is going by!
Today I made my first Craigslist purchase and I couldn't be happier with what I got. It's a baby travel thing. It's something that I wanted but I'm not sure how much we will actually use so I'm really happy that we found this for just $15. Total steal cause this sucker has NEVER been used before! It's totally immaculate! I asked the lady if she had other stuff and she does so I told her to just e-mail it to me with pictures and prices and we could meet up again.
Nothing new has been going on with the way I feel. ALL of my pregnancy symptoms are totally gone this week. I'm pretty happy about it too! I only had the morning sickness for 2 weeks (week 8-10). I've been staying up late with Lorenzo and everything...so I feel like I'm getting my life back! We went out last night for the first time in a while. We went to go watch X-Men Origins Wolverine or whatever it's called. It was a GREAT movie! We thoroughly enjoyed it!
Lorenzo and I decided that we weren't going to buy anything for ourselves on our birthdays, just something for the baby. Lorenzo's birthday is on Monday and we still don't know what we are going to get but my mom apparently got a ton of stuff! She can't seem to control herself, lol, which is a good thing I guess!
Today I made my first Craigslist purchase and I couldn't be happier with what I got. It's a baby travel thing. It's something that I wanted but I'm not sure how much we will actually use so I'm really happy that we found this for just $15. Total steal cause this sucker has NEVER been used before! It's totally immaculate! I asked the lady if she had other stuff and she does so I told her to just e-mail it to me with pictures and prices and we could meet up again.
Nothing new has been going on with the way I feel. ALL of my pregnancy symptoms are totally gone this week. I'm pretty happy about it too! I only had the morning sickness for 2 weeks (week 8-10). I've been staying up late with Lorenzo and everything...so I feel like I'm getting my life back! We went out last night for the first time in a while. We went to go watch X-Men Origins Wolverine or whatever it's called. It was a GREAT movie! We thoroughly enjoyed it!
Lorenzo and I decided that we weren't going to buy anything for ourselves on our birthdays, just something for the baby. Lorenzo's birthday is on Monday and we still don't know what we are going to get but my mom apparently got a ton of stuff! She can't seem to control herself, lol, which is a good thing I guess!
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
10 Week Doctor's Appt
The appointment was at 11am this morning. Lorenzo was cutting it really close with work but we made it on time. I got there and had to pee like none other but I couldn't because I wouldn't have anything to give to them to test.
Finally they called me in but with my luck the 2 stalls to pee were full. So I still had to wait. As soon as I got in there the nurse asked me a few questions about the way I was feeling and stuff and I just asked her if I was going to get to hear the baby's heartbeat this visit. Last visit (during the ultrasound) we just got to see it on the screen and not hear it. She told me that she was going to try but normally when the patient is just 10 weeks along it's too faint for them to pick up on. *At this point I was able to go potty*. Well she gets her little doppler machine over to the table had me pull my pants really far down. As soon as she put it down I heard it and then our little booger squirmed out from under the doppler and she had to do some searching for s/he. After about 30 seconds there it was. The best sound I had ever heard! She left it on there for a while so that she could measure the heart rate and it was at 178 bpm. It was soo strong too! Lorenzo asked if everything was ok because it was high and she said that it was normal.
After that excitement...the only reason that I wanted to go to the appointment...the doctor came in. I knew that this visit was going to be the time when they did all this god-awful blood work so I wasn't going to bring it up if she didn't remember. She just talked to me and made sure everything was ok and asked if I had any questions. Then she said that I was going to get my bloodwork (DAMN she remembered, lol) today. I just don't like getting my blood drawn from anywhere besides on base. There is one guy on base that is sooo good at taking blood! He is so gentle and he uses the proper equipment so you don't feel him changing out all the viles and stuff. Everytime I go out in town to a lab or something I always get this god-awful crackhead bruise on my arm. It didn't fail this go-round either. The second she poked me I felt the pain and knew that this was going to look ugly tomorrow. They took 4 viles of blood and sent me on my way.
I have an ultrasound at my 14 week mark. I am going to hopefully *fingers crossed* get a picture of the boy or girl parts. I know that they won't be able to professionally tell me what it is but I can do my guessing with a picture at least! Alot of my friends say that when they got a picture at 12-16 weeks they were able to tell. It's the office policy for them to wait until 20 weeks to officially tell you what you are having so I will have to wait it out another 10 weeks for the official results.
They sell this kit at HEB & Target called the "Intellegender Prediction Kit" and you just pee in a cup and in 10 minutes it tells you weather you are having a boy or girl. I know that it's not 100% accurate but all the reviews that I read online said that it worked for them. I only read one review where it said it was wrong but that's because the girl said she had PCOS and the test says that if you have that it's going to give you the default reading of boy...and she ended up having a girl but she said she knew that risk going into it. It's $30 and a waste of money but it's all in fun.
Today I felt fine. Wayyyy moodier then normal but the doctor said that's normal. I was soo relieved to hear the heartbeat because the few pregnancy symptoms that I have (sore boobs & tiredness) have started to disappear again this week and I was getting worried. I know that I have nothing to worry about now...I have reached the 10 week mark and I heard my baby's heartbeat when the nurse said that I probably wouldn't. I just know that we have a strong baby.
Finally they called me in but with my luck the 2 stalls to pee were full. So I still had to wait. As soon as I got in there the nurse asked me a few questions about the way I was feeling and stuff and I just asked her if I was going to get to hear the baby's heartbeat this visit. Last visit (during the ultrasound) we just got to see it on the screen and not hear it. She told me that she was going to try but normally when the patient is just 10 weeks along it's too faint for them to pick up on. *At this point I was able to go potty*. Well she gets her little doppler machine over to the table had me pull my pants really far down. As soon as she put it down I heard it and then our little booger squirmed out from under the doppler and she had to do some searching for s/he. After about 30 seconds there it was. The best sound I had ever heard! She left it on there for a while so that she could measure the heart rate and it was at 178 bpm. It was soo strong too! Lorenzo asked if everything was ok because it was high and she said that it was normal.
After that excitement...the only reason that I wanted to go to the appointment...the doctor came in. I knew that this visit was going to be the time when they did all this god-awful blood work so I wasn't going to bring it up if she didn't remember. She just talked to me and made sure everything was ok and asked if I had any questions. Then she said that I was going to get my bloodwork (DAMN she remembered, lol) today. I just don't like getting my blood drawn from anywhere besides on base. There is one guy on base that is sooo good at taking blood! He is so gentle and he uses the proper equipment so you don't feel him changing out all the viles and stuff. Everytime I go out in town to a lab or something I always get this god-awful crackhead bruise on my arm. It didn't fail this go-round either. The second she poked me I felt the pain and knew that this was going to look ugly tomorrow. They took 4 viles of blood and sent me on my way.
I have an ultrasound at my 14 week mark. I am going to hopefully *fingers crossed* get a picture of the boy or girl parts. I know that they won't be able to professionally tell me what it is but I can do my guessing with a picture at least! Alot of my friends say that when they got a picture at 12-16 weeks they were able to tell. It's the office policy for them to wait until 20 weeks to officially tell you what you are having so I will have to wait it out another 10 weeks for the official results.
They sell this kit at HEB & Target called the "Intellegender Prediction Kit" and you just pee in a cup and in 10 minutes it tells you weather you are having a boy or girl. I know that it's not 100% accurate but all the reviews that I read online said that it worked for them. I only read one review where it said it was wrong but that's because the girl said she had PCOS and the test says that if you have that it's going to give you the default reading of boy...and she ended up having a girl but she said she knew that risk going into it. It's $30 and a waste of money but it's all in fun.
Today I felt fine. Wayyyy moodier then normal but the doctor said that's normal. I was soo relieved to hear the heartbeat because the few pregnancy symptoms that I have (sore boobs & tiredness) have started to disappear again this week and I was getting worried. I know that I have nothing to worry about now...I have reached the 10 week mark and I heard my baby's heartbeat when the nurse said that I probably wouldn't. I just know that we have a strong baby.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
9 weeks 6 days
Today is the day before week 10. I'm excited to get this first trimester over with so that I can finally be in the "safe zone". Tomorrow I have an appt so that the doctor's office can take my blood and run all of those necessary tests. I'm not too excited about it but I know that it has to be done.
We had some visitors over this past weekend, David & Jessica, and they bought us the stroller/car seat combo that we had all picked out. I have to admit, I was worried that we wouldn't get it because it's such a high dollar item but thanks to my Craigs List Queen friend she found one practically brand new for a fraction of the price. Lorenzo just looks at the carseat and he's like "hurry up with the baby already". He's ready to be a daddy!
I have been feeling pretty good today. I didn't get any feelings of nausea which is rare. I have been getting it for the past 2 weeks. It's been a hard lesson to learn but I have to eat more often then I would like to. I can't allow myself to get hungry or I will be sick as a dog and by that point it's too late to make it better. It's against everything that I ever learned about eating. I have to eat before bed, eat before hunger hits & eat when I'm hungry.
I few weeks ago I got worried because my few pregnancy symptoms started to diminish and I am starting to go through that this week. My breasts aren't near as sore as they have been and I have been able to stay up later then usual. I get scared when I don't have those symptoms but I'm sure that will all be put to rest tomorrow at my appt. I'm hoping that they let me hear the heartbeat...if it's not brought up I'm def going to ask.
We had some visitors over this past weekend, David & Jessica, and they bought us the stroller/car seat combo that we had all picked out. I have to admit, I was worried that we wouldn't get it because it's such a high dollar item but thanks to my Craigs List Queen friend she found one practically brand new for a fraction of the price. Lorenzo just looks at the carseat and he's like "hurry up with the baby already". He's ready to be a daddy!
I have been feeling pretty good today. I didn't get any feelings of nausea which is rare. I have been getting it for the past 2 weeks. It's been a hard lesson to learn but I have to eat more often then I would like to. I can't allow myself to get hungry or I will be sick as a dog and by that point it's too late to make it better. It's against everything that I ever learned about eating. I have to eat before bed, eat before hunger hits & eat when I'm hungry.
I few weeks ago I got worried because my few pregnancy symptoms started to diminish and I am starting to go through that this week. My breasts aren't near as sore as they have been and I have been able to stay up later then usual. I get scared when I don't have those symptoms but I'm sure that will all be put to rest tomorrow at my appt. I'm hoping that they let me hear the heartbeat...if it's not brought up I'm def going to ask.
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